Eve Teasing & Beyond - Eve Teasing
Myths associated with sexual harassment at public places:
What men can do to stop harassment
Eve Teasing & Beyond - Living Alone
IF YOU ARE A SINGLE WOMAN
India's new worldly women, the country's younger generation is shedding submissive attitudes, aiming for higher education, careers, and longs for freedom and want to live independently. A number of sociological studies show that young Indian females now prize financial independence, freedom to decide when to marry and have children, and have glamorous careers. The boom in software industry especially BPO's has given employment for not so qualified girls also.
Single women still an oddity in India. But young, single Indian women face different challenges than their male peers. Renting an apartment is the major difficulty for them as the owners tend to think that she will bring plethora of male friends home. However, we thought we should guide all those who prefer to live alone.
Better safe than sorry
At social gatherings (parties)
While exercising outdoors
Self protection techniques
Eve Teasing & Beyond - Rape
IPrathiba Murthy, a BPO employee in Bangalore was raped and murdered by a taxi driver.
The principal of a government school in north Delhi raped a Class 10 student of the school. The principal, who was also the girl's private tutor, took the girl to three cronies of his. The four eminently respectable men - a school principal, a vice-principal and two businessmen - gang raped the 16-year old girl during the night. The next morning they sent her back to her parents.
Banwari Devi, a dalit and working as saathin in government programme of Rajasthan was gang raped by a dominant caste in front of her husband. She was preventing child marriages amongst Gujjars. The perpetrators thought she must be "taught a lesson..."
For every twenty six minutes a rape is committed in India and out of which 30% are against minors.
Psycho-social trauma of a rape victim:
How to report rape to Police
Do not shower, wash, or change clothes
Description of the attacker
Nearest Police station
- Protection officer (Project director women and child welfare department of the Dist) Contact your local protection officer
- Service provider (appointed by the State Government)
- Nearest protection office or service provider to provide shelter in a shelter home. List of Shelter homes
- Nearest protection office or service provider to provide any medical aid
- Application to Magistrate
- For payment of compensation or damages
- Right to reside in a shared house hold
- Protection order
- Prohibiting committing any act of domestic violence
- Aiding or abetting
- Entering the place of employment
- Or she is a child its school
- Attempting to communicate in any form including personal, oral , written, electronic or telephonic contact
Alienating any assets
- Operating bank lockers, bank accounts used or held or enjoyed by both the parties jointly with her or single Stridhan
- Causing violence to the dependents to her relatives or any person
- Any other act
- Residence orders
- Monetary relief
- Custody orders
- Compensation orders
If you are facing Domestic Violence
Within the four walls of homes, the violence against women is quite high. Domestic violence against is widely prevalent, but has remained largely invisible. Statistics reveal that 45% of Indian women are slapped, kicked or beaten by their husbands. (ICRW 2002) .32% had committed acts of violence against their pregnant wives. Every 60 minutes a woman dies in India due to domestic violence. Women accept violence because social norms sanction them. At the same time, cultural conditioning and economic dependence prevent the vast majority of women leaving their marital homes. Though there is criminal law to prevent domestic violence, the recent civil law “Protection of women from Domestic Violence” is aimed at providing relief, compensation and support to a woman.
Your husband or partner commits any of the following acts of violence against you or your child
Remember the Govt recently enacted Domestic Violence Act.
Salient features of the DV Act are:
Whom to report domestic violence incident
If you don't have shelter
For medical facilities
Obtaining orders or relief
Alienating any assets
Important Phone Numbers
|Police Control Room||100|
|Women Helpline Telephone No||
Signs of A Cheating Husband
One of the most common ways you can detect if your partner is cheating is by looking out for changes in his day to day routine and behaviour. If your partner is having an affair it is quite likely that he will start acting differently. This is because we all settle into certain routines when things are regular and normal so it is only natural that if something changes in our lives then things get thrown off course and we start doing things differently. These changes in your husband′s routine can be giveaway clues that he′s seeing someone else but can be so easily missed.
Have you detected any of the following?
- Has he become short tempered with you or children?
- Does he want to be out more now whereas before he was happy to be at home with you?
- Does he stay awake later a night? This may be so that he can phone, SMS or email ′her′ once you′ve gone to bed or simply in the hope that you′ll be asleep before he gets into bed.
- Suspicious cell phone behavior - Has he become possessive of his cell phone? Does he keep it close by whenever you′re nearby? Men who cheat use their cell phone to communicate with the other women. Unless they are totally stupid and use their home phone number. Look for him erasing his call logs and messages constantly.
- Does he insist on answering the phone and talks in coded mode if you are around or feels uncomfortable by your presence?
- Has he become more possessive toward his wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase?
- Has he started avoiding you in the home? Doesn′t look into your eyes straight?
- Does he go out for longer and more frequent walks?
- No more arguing - Has he become docile when arguments arise? Men do not like confrontation when they are cheating, they will do whatever it takes to avoid any type of heated confrontation.
- Has he lost interest in things he used to be passionate about, say a particular sport or a particular hobby?
- All of a sudden has he starts talking about getting together with old friends he hasn′t seen in years and about whom he has never spoken of to you?
- Have you noticed him suddenly being more knowledgeable about women′s clothing, perfume or jewelry? If so he could be buying gifts for another woman.
- Has he started to take an interest in something that you know he was never previously bothered about?
- Has he stopped leaving his clothes lying around or started doing any of his own washing, maybe because there are revealing smells or marks on them?
- Has he started encouraging you to go alone to visit parents or friends now a days?
- Has he started attending extended seminars/official/business trips or going on tours he never used to attend and go before with that frequency?
- Did he remember things he had forgotten to do at the office and wants to leave immediately at odd hours?
- Does he forget to wear the wedding ring sometimes?
- Does he make a point of keeping the car/bike free of things belonging to you or the kids?
- Has he has started keeping an overnight bag in his car or office, apparently for a workout?
- These signs of a cheating husband appearing now and then may not mean anything in isolation, but if you notice a number of them happening with a pattern, you should take them as a warning signs that there′s probably something wrong going on. You must take corrective steps to save your marriage.
Alcoholism is a universal phenomenon. Down the centuries, numberless women across the globe have been coping with husbands who come home drunk, bash their wives and children and make everyone′s life miserable. However surprisingly most women timidly adjust to their husbands′ ways rather than raising their voices in protest. Maybe they have their own difficulties and ways of dealing with the problem but if your alcoholic husband is abusing you then it is time that you put an end to this evil and fight courageously against this addiction and save you and your family.
Guidelines for Helping Your Alcoholic Husband:
- Acquire proper attitude. It is difficult to help people who sense that you despise them and do not care for them and respect them.
- Alcoholism is an addiction to a drug. Therefore willpower is not enough; proper therapies are needed and consult a proper rehabilitation center or counselor.
- Confront your husband with the fact of the disease, and offer a possible solution. Alcoholics never get well unless given a chance.
- Make your alcoholic husband responsible for his actions. Every time you make excuses for him or shielded him, you have just paid for the next drink.
- Use all the alcoholism resources available. It is a complex illness; it needs a network of people to treat it. Take into confidence some of your husband′s closest friends (non -drinkers) and ask them to persuade your husband to relinquish the bottle. Most men brush aside the appeal of their wives but pay heed to their friends′ advices.
- Never give up hope; never be discouraged. Even if your alcoholic husband does not recover at this time, the seed has been planted. It may bear fruit sometime in the future.
- Alcoholism is a family disease; all family members are affected; all need treatment.
- Do not leave him alone. Always keep supervision on him. Accompany your husband to all parties and gatherings to keep a vigilant eye on him. If he is under supervision he will not to exceed the limits.
- Try to avoid the parties where your husband will be forced to drink by his friends.
- See that your husband′s salary directly comes into your bank account so that he shall not have access to money to spend on drinks.
- Try to find the root cause of the problem. Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with him in order to gauge the root cause of his addiction.
- - Once the causes are discovered, ways and means could be devised to solve the related problems.
Reporting Dowry Harassment
What should your complaint include?
Details of marriage including wedding card, marriage certificate, photos, videos etc.
Name(s) of accused persons and their details like addresses and passports etc.
Details of harassment like duration, time period, place and type of harassment.
Details of demand of dowry, if any.
Bank statement, if you have drawn dowry from the bank.
Details of the cheque if you have paid the dowry in that form.
Details of the person to whom it was handed over.
In case of physical violence, details of injuries and type of weapon.
Doctor″s prescription or case sheets of the treatment of such injuries.
Details of the elders who had arranged the marriage and who tried to patch up the differences.
Places where the mediation/counselling sessions were held.
Details of witnesses, especially independent witnesses and your own children.
Any written agreements during marriage.
Details of gifts in the form of movable property like jewels/cash/garments/vehicles and immovable property like plots/flats.
Any written/voice communication between the partners, the victim and the parents in the form of letters, emails, voice records etc.
Reasons for the delay in lodging the complaint, if any.
Signature of the victim and contact number.
Help us prevent abuse of 498(A) and strengthen your case:
Always remember! No counselling is better than the couple and their kids thrash it out among themselves.
To err is human! Mistakes can take place from both the sides. One should not misuse any law to cover one′s own mistake.
Try counselling on both of you before you decide to knock the doors of police station.
Never exaggerate what had happened to you. In other words, be clear, frank and specific about the issue.
Never include the persons who are NOT connected with the harassment. Be honest.
Always remember! 498A is not a law to take revenge but punish those responsible for harassment severely so that others learn a lesson.
There are many vested interests around to take undue advantage of your helplessness. They might misguide you by exaggerating the facts, adding those who are unconnected with the harassment to the list of accused, exaggerating the amount of dowry etc.
Should you need help in expressing your woes, please take the help of reputed voluntary organisations or help lines only. Avoid the unscrupulous persons who always promise you to get your dowry amount back and extort money from the accused side and dilute your case.
Ensure your presence while someone drafts the complaint for you and ask him to read it out before you lodge it in the P.S.
Some victims are misguided to exaggerate the contents of the complaint in order to make it a STRONG case. The truth is entire strength of the case hinges on quality of evidence that is provided by the victim. If the contents of the complaint are not supported by the facts on the ground, cases become very weak and genuine victims suffer.
If any policeman or the officer concerned demands money for investigating the case and arrest the accused, do not give in. Bring it to the notice of his or her superiors.
Never forget that both the daughter and daughter in law deserve similar affection and care.
Remember! 498A is not a tool to force the other party for divorce. There are so many of other legal procedures to find solutions to the incompatibilities in the marriage.
498A is also not a tool to get the custody of children. There are other alternate legal methods for this.
Never force the police to arrest the accused on same day of lodging complaint as gathering credible evidence takes some time. However, you can help the police expedite the investigation by providing most of the evidence at the time of lodging complaint itself.
If you have the information that the accused are planning to leave the country, you can always bring it to the notice of the concerned investigating officer without delay. Police can alert all the international airports or sea ports for their detention, if needed.
If you are a parent, lodge a complaint only after you ascertain the facts in detail from your daughter. Her statement is vital for the investigation.
Conviction rate in 498A cases is very poor in the country as a whole. There are many reasons for this. You can help us improve this by NOT retracting during trial from what you have said during investigation.